You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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