Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
