We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
