too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
