R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
