He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
