Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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