i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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