I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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