Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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