this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
