i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
