I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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