oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
