We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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