i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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