Dual....:-)
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
