her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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