we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
