so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Houston, we have a blender
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
