honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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