not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
