I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
