: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
