Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
