she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
