never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
