His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
