i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
