Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am naked and annoyed.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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