It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
