I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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