I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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