He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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