hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
