he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
