Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
