i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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