a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
