Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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