well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
