dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
