people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
