Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
