Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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