smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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