Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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