There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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