They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
