Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
