i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
