Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
