Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My ass is underappreciated
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
